The wedding of Tessie
and John was one of the great social events of the
early 1980's. The social columns in the newspapers wrote up how lovely
they looked and how blessed they both were with foreign degrees in
management. As addition to their competence they also had enough family
influence to land them in managerial positions within a few years.
Now, fourteen years later they have four beautiful children living
in a beautiful house, cared for by the best maids, attended to by
the best physicians when they get sick, enrolled in the best schools.
They themselves leave the house early in the morning in their separate
cars. On the way they have many conversations using the latest cellular
phones. Both have led their companies to new levels of production
and profit in recent years.
They are successful but at a price.
They are slaves of the culture in which they live and of the expectations
that their roles impose on them. They often have to socialize with
the right people even if they would much prefer to be at home. Tessie
has become aware that women, who before had a 7-1 less chance of having
a heart attack than their husbands are now moving closer to having
equal chances. A lady manager cannot cry or express her emotions in
the ways that were socially accepted for women. The emotions now become
pent up and stress takes its toll on her body.
Seldom do they have time to really be with one another - to be without
a schedule or an agenda. The children have become projects to be managed
rather than human beings with which to waste time. Already the school
has been reporting rebellious attention gaining behavior in their
eldest child. How could this be when they had got the best of everything
from their parents? Maybe they got presents instead of presence! Flashes
of doubt sometimes cross the minds of Tessie and John. They find themselves
in terror on the verge of an emotional abyss, but they quickly jerk
themselves out of it and hurl themselves into more activity. The activity
saves one - for a while at least - from the inefficiency of dealing
with what is deep within the self.
The story of Tessie and John might be
a modern parable on the issue that Jesus tackles in today's Gospel
story. Jesus drops by to visit his friends Mary and Martha. Martha
fussed about getting a meal for Jesus while Mary sits listening to
him. Mary complains about the unfairness of the situation but Jesus
seems to take the part of Mary and says, "Martha. Martha, you
worry and fret about so many things, and yet few are needed, indeed
only one. It is Mary who has chosen the better part; it is not to
be taken from her."
This story is not a condemnation of
activity and an extolling of contemplation. The story comes immediately
after the Parable of the Good Samaritan which has the clear message
that you cannot be a loving person if you do not get up and do something
for others. The story makes the point that if our activity is to be
wise and fruitful there must also be times of stillness, of prayer,
of being in touch with our own inner worlds and being open to intimacy
- to hear the inner worlds of others.
Our culture of activity and production
also effects our attitude towards prayer. For some, prayer is a non-productive
waste of time which can easily be done without. For others it is an
effort to promote efficiency by getting God on our side. His support,
together with all others who have power or pull, will be asked in
prayer to assure the success of all ventures.
Christian meditation is just being still in the presence of the Lord.
It is a being still with truth, the creation of a space where our
inner selves can speak. It is a way of accepting our whole being in
such a way that our inner spiritual and emotional lives will be integrated
with the activities in which we engage. It is a prayer that will make
us recognize the subtle ways in which we all become imprisoned and
lead us out of these prisons into more wholesome relationships with
ourselves, others and ultimately with God.
