The
Apostles; The Counter Heroes
I
entered
here to become a saint, I wanted peace, quiet and the example of holy
people around me." Sister said, "Instead I have found intrigue,
smallness - a lot of people who are just as bad as those outside.
I wonder, did I make a mistake in joining this group? How can I find
Christ in a place like this?" Anyone who has had experience of
retreats with seminarians or young sisters will have heard these or
similar words often. Just as in marriage; there is a movement from
honeymoon high to disillusionment and to a doubting that God is anywhere
in the picture.
This
week we begin the Season of Advent, the season of preparing for the
"adventus" or coming of Christ and we are told three times,
in the reading from St. Mark's Gospel to be awake and alert or we
might miss his coming. During the new Church year that begins today
we will be taking our readings mostly from Mark's gospel. Probably
the oldest Gospel, it is also remarkable for its stark realism. Mark
tried to explore the mystery of who Christ was and describe his crucifixion
without the efforts that we see in the other Gospels to soften the
harshness and brutality of his execution. Mark's Gospel is even more
extraordinary in the way it portrays the twelve disciples of Jesus.
They are the counter heroes of the whole story.
Mark
was writing about 30 years after the death of Christ. The young church
was faced with the problem of a leadership that had lost its first
fervor, that was often sinful and far from edifying. The Christians
of that time were asking the same questions as the sister I quoted
above. Mark dealt with the problem of the ambiguity of the leadership
of the Church in his time by telling of the weakness of the first
disciples. In effect he says, "If they were weak and sinful we
should not be surprised to find weakness and sinfulness in the Church
today. If Christ was in the middle of that weakness he is in the middle
of our weakness today."
From
the beginning, according to Mark's account, the disciples shared in
Christ's mission in a very privileged way. They responded immediately
to the "call" to follow Jesus. They witness his miracles
and get special private instructions from him. They are called to
be with him and sent out to spread God's reign by preaching. So far
so good.
But
as the story of Jesus progresses the failures of the disciples increase.
They fail to understand the parables. They do not understand Jesus'
walking on the water. They want an exclusive discipleship cutting
out others. Three times Jesus tries to talk about his oncoming Passion
but the disciples either fail or refuse to understand.
The
disciples really come off badly in the Passion story. One of them,
Judas, betrays Jesus. Peter denies him and Peter, James and John sleep
through his hour of agonizing prayer. Then "they all forsook
him and fled." There were no disciples at the foot of the cross
in Mark's account. Nor are they found in the resurrection story. Mark
closes his Gospel without rehabilitating the disciples.
The
Gospel of Mark, emphasizing the failure of the disciples, gives us
a powerful message about the overpowering need for dependence upon
Jesus. Side by side with their repeated failures is the reliable presence,
forgiveness and love of Jesus for his ever erring disciples. The message
is that Jesus is to be found in the midst of human failure and struggle
and not in an ideal utopia. To recognize this Jesus we need to be
alert and awake, watching out for him and not just for our own advantage.
Meditation
is a way of just being in awareness at our own centers. In this awareness
we become more present to reality, to our own reality of being called
to serve and yet of ever present failing. As we become sensitive to
Him who is at the heart of reality we will become more and more able
to detect his presence in the most unlikely situations and events
of our lives. Each of these will become an "adventus," a
coming of Christ into our lives.
There
was a man who prayed for a beautiful butterfly but only got a creepy
caterpillar. He threw the filthy thing out the window. As he complained
inside about how God had not answered his prayer the caterpillar outside
had hatched into a beautiful butterfly. Today's message is about being
alert enough to see Christ in all events, to see the butterfly in
the caterpillar.
Taken
from Sundays
into Silence - A Pathway to Life. Copyright © 1998 by Claretian
Publications
