Why
Was Peter Bald
When you see a representation
of the twelve apostles how do you know which one of them is Peter?
Is it not that Peter is usually the bald one? And why was Peter bald?
Here I would like to offer a theory that comes, not from Scriptural
scholarship, but from personal reflection. According to my theory
Peter was bald because he used to tear his hair out in exasperation
at having to live with Jesus. Maybe the expression in English 'tearing
one's hair out' as meaning to be exasperated or frustrated goes back
to Peter and his experience with Jesus. For example, one day Jesus
and the disciples went to the temple to pray. A Pharisee came in and
prayed like this in front of everyone, "Thanks be to you God
that I am not like other people around here. I pray regularly. I am
not a thief or a liar or a womanizer like so many others around here
that I might mention. You are lucky, God, to have good people like
me around. How do you tolerate sinners like that tax collector there
in the corner?" In the corner the poor tax collector was ashamed
to even raise his eyes but just said quietly from his heart "Lord,
have mercy on me a sinner." For Peter there was no doubt who
was the best man around, it was the Pharisee. So when Jesus said that
it was the humble tax collector that went home justified and not the
self-righteous Pharisee Peter just could not get it, so chkk!, he
started to pull his hair out!
And
then a very rich man came in and put two large notes on the collection
plate. "Boy, oh Boy, look at that," Peter said. "No,"
Jesus said, but look at that as they heard a little "clonk, clonk."
S poor widow had dropped two coins into the collection box. "You
judge by the amount given. I judge by what is left over when the person
has given. The rich man still had his millions after he gave his donation
but the poor woman gave everything she had." This was too much
for Peter and so, chkk! he lost another tuft of hair.
The
same thing happened when Jesus told stories that made the hated Samaritans
the virtuous heroes. And then there was the father who had two sons,
one obedient and one a useless waster. But when the useless sinful
one came home the father embraced him and had a party. Who could live
with someone who so exasperatingly turns normal expectations upside
down?
But
it was especially on the matter of suffering that Peter tore his hair
out. In the Gospel last Sunday Jesus had asked, "Who do you say
that I am?" Peter had got it right, "You are the Messiah,"
he had answered. And Jesus had answered, "Terrific! Because you
are so smart I will make you the head of the Apostles!" Shortly
afterwards, while Peter was still glowing over his promotion, Jesus
began to talk about going up to Jerusalem and suffering there. This
was too much for Peter. He took Jesus aside and said "Look here,
Jesus. You are the boss and now you have made me the boss. The boss
does not suffer. He pushes the dirty jobs on to others. You have got
it all wrong. You and I should not have to suffer!" Then Jesus
said, "Get behind me, Satan. You are still getting it wrong.
The values are those of the people of this world and not those of
God." and all poor Peter could do was sit down and tear his hair
out!
And
to this day we are still getting it wrong. Each of us feels somewhere
deep down that, while it is alright and normal for others to suffer,
we should be exempt. We want to be elite. We cultivate the Lord with
our devotions and offerings trying to bribe the privilege of exemption
from suffering from him. But he will not be bribed. In fact, he showed
us by his own life that suffering is not to be avoided but rather
must be faced.
The
Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck begins his book The Road Less Traveled
with the words: "Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one
of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we really
see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult
- once we truly understand and accept it - then life is not longer
difficult. Because once we accept it, the fact that life is difficult
no longer matters. Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult.
Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about
the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties
in life as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy...
The
tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in
them is the primary basis of all human mental illness. Since most
of us have this tendency to a greater or less degree most of us are
mentally ill to a greater or less degree, lacking complete mental
health... In the succinctly elegant words of Carl Jung, "Neurosis
is always a substitute for legitimate suffering, but the suffering
itself becomes more painful than the legitimate suffering it was designed
to avoid."
When
if comes to prayer most of us are acting like Peter, most of us are
neurotics. We are praying that God will solve our problems for us
and take away our sufferings. Yet these problems and sufferings are
as essential to our growth as soil and fertilizer is for plants. True
prayer is not to take away our problems and sufferings - to take away
reality-but rather, to help us face it.
Most
people come to meditation with the hope that they will be successful,
that they will be good at meditating. Many give up because they find
it difficult, even impossible. But this is exactly where meditation
is effective. It is in the suffering of our failure that we are strengthened
to face the reality of life. If I ever find someone who says that
prayer and meditation are easy I know that I have found someone who
is in a fool's paradise. To find God is to constantly seek him. To
pray is to constantly seek to pray. And this is a paradigm of life.
In meditation we suffer the lack of achievement of our desires. That
naughty little mantra continues to elude us. If we continue to try
to say it patiently and consistently without tearing our hair out
this will wash over into our lives. We will also be able to face the
sufferings and frustrations of life without going bald in the process.
Taken
from Sundays
into Silence - A Pathway to Life. Copyright © 1998 by Claretian
Publications
