Journey of Purification
A
missionary priest had a great interest in education. For 40 years
he helped young people through college on a study now pay later plan.
Many of the teachers of that province owed their profession to him
and never ceased to sing his praises. But times have changed. Recently,
the teachers unionized and brought a case against the very school
with which he was associated. Many of those crying for blood (or money)
were his former proteges. Naturally this was immensely painful to
the missionary priest. It was a Holy Week experience reminiscent of
what happened to Christ; on Palm Sunday, the crowds sang "Hosanna";
on the following Friday they cried out "Crucify Him. Crucify
Him."
Experiences
like these are common on the spiritual journey. I do not know how
the priest involved actually dealt with this crisis. For a less spiritual
person this could be an occasion for disillusionment, depression,
a lack of zest in life, a retreat into cynicism. For someone who has
been trying to be in a deeper presence with the Lord it may be an
experience of cleansing, of purification, an experience of what St.
John of the Cross calls the Dark Night of the Soul. None of us are
lily white in our altruism. We may still be seeking praise, adulation,
externally or just from within ourselves, even in the noble things
that we do. It is when we feel "Father, Father why have You forsaken
me?" that the spiritual adults are separated from the self seeking
children. It is in the crucible of pain that we have to face our own
phoniness and lack of purity of intention. Everybody protests their
own sincerity and one of the great shocks of life is to discover our
own duplicity. Yet its acceptance can be our resurrection.
When
crosses come our way, is God punishing us or purifying us? I think
that the answer we give to that question will depend a lot on how
we pray. If we pray to get God to give us what we want, we will see
not getting what we asked for as a punishment. But if we pray to seek
God's will, to be totally open to God as we try to be in meditation,
we will find God's care and love even in the painful happenings of
our lives.
Recently I was at the dentist and there was a mother there with her
three year old child. When they were called by the dentist the child
screamed and wanted to run away. Of course, the mother was loving
her child by bringing him to the dentist but it would be very hard
to convince the child that this was true.
We
are sure that God is always loving us but it is not always easy to
see that this is true. Sometimes God seems to very cruel toward the
world when He allows war, famine and the suffering that results from
a volcanic eruption. Sometimes He seems to be very cruel to individuals
when He allows sickness and failure and the death of a loved one.
Sometimes
people who are close to God find this harder to deal with than others
do. Recently, I heard someone say "I hesitate about giving myself
to God; it seems the more you do so, the more trials you will have."
The impression some people have that they suffer more when they are
close to the Lord, may partly be because people often have the opposite
expectation. Many people think that because they pray, God should
spoil them, that He should take away all their problems. When this
does not happen they are very disappointed. They feel God has let
them down because He did not fulfill their expectations. The Holy
Week story should debunk our expectation of being spoiled by God.
If Jesus the Son of God had to suffer, who are we to expect exemption?
God wants us to grow up, to mature, to reach out to others. Now this
would never happen if we had a perfect world. If we all had enough
we would never be challenged to be generous to one another. If nobody
ever got sick and died the world would be far more overpopulated than
it is and people could not survive.
The
Epistle to the Hebrews (12:16) tells us "whom the Lord loves,
He disciplines." This is often hard to understand and accept
but this is generally true. The story is told that St. Teresa of Avila
complained about the way God was treating her. God said, 'I treat
you like that because you are my friend' to which she answered "No
wonder You have so few friends, if that's the way You treat them!"
Do we have faith enough to see God's love in the challenges and the
chastisement that God sends us? Or are we like the child who cannot
see his mother's love in taking him to the dentist?
The
mysteries of the Rosary, which summarize the saving story of Jesus,
can be a paradigm of our journeys. It can be a journey of a life,
of a marriage, a relationship, a job, or of learning to meditate.
It is nearly always a Holy Week Story. We start off with joy and enthusiasm
and experience some success. Then difficulties are encountered and
we even feel a sense of death. These are the sorrowful mysteries.
If one has patience and is well guided in working through this passion
one will come to glory, an experience of peace which is beyond all
joy and which is not lost when we encounter storms on the journey.
For me perseverance in the twice daily practice of meditation will
also be one of the guarantees of our perseverance in the journey from
joy through death through resurrection and into glory.
Taken
from Sundays
into Silence - A Pathway to Life. Copyright © 1998 by Claretian
Publications
