The Extraordinary Ordinary
Most
of us have little trouble in accepting that Jesus was God. Our problem
is more often in accepting that he was human, that he could be afraid,
discouraged, needing affirmation. We find it hard to believe that
he, like us, needed a context of meaning to sustain him in his efforts
when everything seemed, from a human point of view, to be going wrong.
When
Jesus was transfigured his "Godness" could be seen breaking
out through his human form. Then a voice was heard from heaven saying,
"This is my son, my beloved; he enjoys my favor. Listen to him."
This
was an occasion of affirmation and encouragement firstly, for Jesus,
then for the disciples and lastly, for all of us. Jesus was facing
towards Jerusalem, his ratings in the popularity poles were declining
fast, he was moving towards his passion when almost all would desert
him and he would feel abandoned even by his Heavenly Father. The disciples
too, would suffer disappointment in their political ambitions. Never
far from the surface was their hope that Jesus would be a political
Messiah and that they would be the ministers in his new government.
These hopes too were to be squashed when they saw him lifted up, not
on a royal throne, but on a criminal's cross. The experience of the
transfiguration was something to look back on and to sustain them
when everything went wrong. It was the light that would lead them
to see that "going wrong" in worldly terms is often, spiritually
speaking, a moving towards freedom and resurrection. During Lent we
are challenged to find this kind of solid ground a context of meaning,
to which we can return when the sand seems to be sinking under our
feet. Deep in all of us there is a desire and a need for this kind
of transfiguration.
Recently,
one of our meditation group shared her story. It was a story of Transfiguration
from wanting to find God in high positions to finding him in simply
BEing, from wanting to find him in the extraordinary to seeing him
in the ordinary.
"In
my search for God," she said, "in my efforts to quench an
inner thirst, I joined church organizations, activities and movements.
In these I got elected to high positions. For three decades I served,
sometimes concurrently, as Secretary of the Parish Council, Comitium
Secretary and then President of the Legion of Mary; an officer of
the Charismatics, Catholic Women's League, Samaria etc. etc. I was
like Zacceus of the Bible who moved from one place to another, ran,
and climbed a tree. He placed himself high above the common ordinary
ground for he very much wanted to see Jesus. He wanted a Transfiguration
experience. I climbed more than one tree and more than one mountain
- these high positions - believing that they were vantage points for
me where I would find and encounter the Lord - but I was wrong. Zacceus
did not see Jesus when he was looking far and wide. He heard him calling
from below to come down to ordinary ground. In my case, neither did
I meet the Lord in the organizations and in the high positions of
these organizations. I met the Lord in the ordinary ground. I found
him when I was at my lowest involvement in Church organizations.
"I
found God in the simple prayer of meditation where there is nothing
extraordinary. About five years ago I was introduced to the simple
way of prayer by saying a mantra, a prayer word for from twenty to
thirty minutes morning and evening. It is a way of prayer, following
the teaching of the Benedictine monk John Main, that sets aside thoughts
and words and any desire for the extraordinary. If the extraordinary
ever happens, this is considered to be a distraction during the time
of meditation.
This silent meeting with the Lord has changed my life and brought
me into a new relationship with God.
What
proof do I have that I have found the Lord? The Old Testament tells
us that nobody lives after seeing the Lord. I believe that I did die.
A lot of my old self had to die before I could find the Lord and inner
transformation and transfiguration could take place. Through my own
experience I began to understand more fully the words of Fr. Laurence
Freeman OSB, when he said, 'It was considered in the past that a good
life had to be lived in a special way withdrawn from ordinary things.
That is not true. We can live a fully human life, come to the fullness
of our potential by living an ordinary life.'
"When
I was assigned to Cebu last year I asked the Lord:
'What is it that you want me to do there?' After a short stay there
I asked again; 'it seems that I have not done anything, Lord. Was
I able to do what you wanted me to perform?' I asked the question
because nothing extraordinary happened. Deep within the notion was
still there that position or the extraordinary was necessary to be
with the Lord.
"Months later after clearing the kitchen of the debris of the
New Year's Eve celebration I filled up my journal:
'This
afternoon I realized that the Lord did not send me to Cebu to do something
extraordinary, but just to be. To be my true self in my daily life.
No earthshaking accomplishments. Just Being.'
I
had learned that being precedes doing. It is more basic and more far-reaching
than doing. This was my transfiguration. In a nutshell what I'm sharing
with you is that my efforts to find God in Church organizations and
in the vantage points of high positions were not successful. I found
him on ordinary ground. I expected to find the will of God in things
beyond the ordinary but I came to see, to quote Fr. Freeman again,
'Ordinary life does not make life less whole or less spiritual. All
that matters is that we live our lives in a particular way. It is
not a way of life that decides whether we find God, but the way in
which we live that life.'"
Taken
from Sundays
into Silence - A Pathway to Life. Copyright © 1998 by Claretian
Publications
